Moving in our 50s and needing reassurance

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This topic contains 5 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  kay 2 days, 14 hours ago.

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  • #20223

    Belinda Aspinall
    Keymaster

    Message from a member….

    My partner has transferred with his job and I am very undecided as to how a new life will be away from our family and friends. We adore north Devon and have a camper van so we visit most months even during winter. However, living the life is very different and I would love to contact anyone who has taken a leap into the unknown! We have recently turned 50 and Will be relocating in June to a village 3 miles from Barnstaple. If there is anyone out there who can offer any advice and suggestions or indeed are relocating themselves please get in touch as would love to hear from you.

    #20225

    sam
    Member

    Hi there, my partner and I are in our 50s and we moved to West Wales just over a year ago. Our kids are grown up and he really really wanted a change.
    I would say: join everything. You can always give something up again, but keeping busy will help the homesick blues a little. I’m not sure if you both plan to work but be prepared to find it hard to get a job or have to settle for something less interesting/less money than you did before – but it will be worth it for the feeling of being part of things. Again, you can always reduce your workload. If you have your own business and its online it will all be fine – as long as you can get fast internet – don’t assume you can, check it out with someone who actually lives in the village, not just what BT say on their database which is not accurate.
    I do miss my friends but I’ve been able to visit a bit and some have even visited me despite the distance. I’m gradually making new friends and I try not to compare but take things as they come, and enjoy the fabulous beaches, fresh air and being able to park!

    #20237

    kay
    Member

    Thank you for taking the time to reply, similar as our girls are grown up though one not finished uni in Portsmouth yet. My entire family live in Essex so it will be very difficult to leave and to leave our friends also. We both have jobs, my partner transferring, and my company have agreed to let me work remotely which is fantastic as after 24 years with the same company I wasn’t sure I could leave and find such a good job I enjoy in north Devon. I will check out all the local clubs and will enjoy making new friends just very daunting! Thank you again for your advice and sharing your own experience.

    #20439

    Catherine
    Member

    Hi there, I agree you have to force yourself to join things, something I still need to do more of myself. However I must admit I have struggled to meet many people beyond a level of casual acquaintence – most of that has been through getting an allotment and chatting with neighbours about the trials and tribulations of growing veg! I also joined a local art group, now disbanded and the local horticultural society but know I need to do more. I would describe myself as a friendly person but after 4 years living here, I still don’t feel like I’ve ‘clicked’ into place socially. To be brutally honest I think a lot of that is due to not having children. There are social networks for parents (at least for those with school age children) to dip into if they want that simply don’t exist for non parents. Consequently I’m still over reliant on catching up with friends in London and even the area I grew up in Essex. I don’t want to scare you – but I think it’s wise to be prepared to make an effort. Hope that helps a bit.

    #20706

    Sandy
    Member

    I’ll prepare you that Reading isn’t a very social place to live.
    As stated; I’ve lived around the Globe, made friends in each new destination including our 12 months living in Wales – all great with the exception of Reading, Berkshire.

    In our 2 years of living here; I’ve got out thereabouts mixed amongst the locals. However, even they’ll be honest enough to say their not interested in forming friendships outside their family; existing friends and social media friends. They are not open to making any new friends. But they are friendly towards you at these meet-ups
    I think it’s a English thing? Or they are content to have and keep their friends on Social Media? Guess at 57 I’m too Old School and my personality yearns People interaction. I’m a sociable / people’s person.

    I do wish you well.

    • This reply was modified 2 days, 19 hours ago by  Sandy.
    #20709

    kay
    Member

    Thank you all for your replies and advice. We have just returned from another visit to Devon our third in two months, and are still feeling scared but also excited. Our house is sold in Essex and our offer on a property in Devon accepted . Whilst there we checked out a couple of mountain bike groups and I drove to the cross fit gym which is just 15 mins from where we will be living. So it’s all systems go, the move is happening and am just trying to deal with fact that I will miss my family and friends but will still be commuting back to Essex every 6/8 weeks so can do some catching up then. I will take your advice and be prepared to put in that effort to meet people where I can. May not be easy but try I shall! Will let you know how the story unfolds!

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